I was conceived and born in an alley in Old Portsmouth. I remember seeing the White Ensign being run up the flag pole as the nurse changed ny first nappy. The Naval Provost took me away and I became a Seaman, which is where I learnt all about knots. I then ran away and started my own ferry company, which sank without a trace. I moved inland to Leatherhead when I started to suffer from sea-sickness. My dislike of Southampton FC is pathological.

Scoundrel

Slapping spinach all over Olive then licking it off.